How does it feel when you do something just for yourself? Do you feel guilty? Unworthy? You’re not alone. Many women feel that self-care is selfish. This was a huge hang-up of mine. Then, I had a profound shift in my perception of self-care. The TRUTH is practicing self-care is being self-responsible!
Responsible for your own well-being and happiness. Rather than looking to others to make you feel good about yourself or take care of you and make you feel special - you take the role on yourself!
Being self-responsible is liberating! You are no longer dependent on the whims of others to value you, appreciate you or make you feel loved. You can do all of this for yourself!! You are in charge of your own perceptions, experiences and happiness! It all begins with honoring your self worth.
So, FILL YOUR WELL! Nourish your mind, body and spirit!
Here are 10 simple ways to get started! LOVE YOURSELF UP!! You deserve it and YOU ARE WORTHY!!
1. Carve out some alone time for yourself daily
Before you rush to the office, you just might want to sip that coffee leisurely and savor your breakfast. This could be your time for meditation, prayer or anything that will calm your soul as you prepare for the day ahead.
If your mornings are full, then try to do this at night. Carving out a moment of solitary time to rest and refocus dramatically impacts your well-being. Learn how to create your morning routine here.
2. Spend time with your thoughts and emotions
The magic of journalling, and letting all of your thoughts, feelings, emotions flow freely through the pen onto paper. Messy thoughts are released and clarified in the form of ink as emotions are released, ideas solidified or reflections understood. Pouring out your thoughts is a great way of giving importance to yourself. This allows you to process your emotions. Think of it as your own space where your mind roams free.
To get started, tell yourself, I am going to sit down and write for only 3 minutes. Then, if you feel complete with 3 minutes, great! Or perhaps, you’ll get in the flow and more needs to be expressed. The idea is just do it!
3. Hold your head up high!
Show up for yourself! Take pride in your appearance, look after your body, give 100% to your work and treat yourself and others well. Helen Keller said it perfectly, “Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” By holding your head high, you’re showing the world that you’re proud of yourself.
This technique isn’t about getting more attention from others. It’s to get the attention of your subconscious! It’s great to visualize being confident, having healthy self-esteem, and living the best version of yourself each day. Now take it to a deeper level and take physical action! Feeling this sense of living your highest self in your body will directly imprint this message on your subconscious. You are worthy!
4. Connect in person!
In this world of social media, face-to-face interaction has taken a backseat. We can go days without making eye contact and really connecting with another human. Take time to meet up with your best girlfriends and connect with people who encourage you, laugh with you, and listen to you. Nurture these emotional bonds and your relationships with these people because having a support group cannot be replaced by anything material!
5. Restore your soul!
Nature has its way of pacifying our souls. Go for a walk in the park, drive to a nearby beach or lake, or plan an impromptu nature tripping! Sometimes all you need is the sound of rustling leaves, ripples of water, and chirping of birds to calm your spirit. Ah, the serenity.
6. Buy something you want regularly
Take note it’s a WANT not a need. You don’t have to splurge especially if you can’t afford it (responsibility here ladies). It could be any material item or an experience like watching a play or trying out a new restaurant! The important thing is you have to be intentional in rewarding yourself. As T. Harv Eker states in his popular Millionaire Mind program set up a monthly jar/account and deposit 10% of your income. Then at the end of each month you HAVE to ‘blow it’ all on whatever you want. The psychology behind this concept is releasing your scarcity and poverty mindset and feeling abundant!
7. Remove the word ‘can’t’ from your vocabulary
The moment you say ‘I can’t’ you’re already undermining your abilities. So instead of saying that, tell yourself, ‘I will try’ or better yet say what the Little Engine That Could chants when he’s doing something insurmountable, “I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!” Approach your fears with childlike enthusiasm and you’ll be surprised to find out that you can actually do something that you once thought was improbable!
8. Forgive yourself
Mistakes and regrets can haunt you for a long time. But you should’t let the past hold you back from moving forward. Forgive yourself. Stop blaming yourself. Shut down those ‘if only’ and ‘I should’ve’ thoughts because you won’t be able to change the past but you can always do something about the present to create a more positive future.
9. Stop criticizing and start complimenting
What comes to your mind when you look at yourself in the mirror? Too fat, too skinny, too pale? How about you start appreciating your eye color or your hair? Celebrate who you are and tell yourself you are beautiful inside and out. God doesn’t make mistakes.
10. Respect, Yo!
Self-respect (or lack thereof) will influence the decisions you make and the actions you take. Disrespecting yourself due to insecurities or low self-esteem can lead to regrets as you attempt to be someone you are not in order to be liked or approved of by others. Cultivating healthy self-respect begins with honoring your truth such as always acting upon your values and never compromising who you are for anyone or anything else.
- adapted from Debbie Spellman's 12 Ways to Honor Yourself.